1 Year

Right before. With glue still on teeth. Polished Teeth.

SURPRISE! I GOT MY BRACES OFF!!!! 364 days after my double jaw surgery, I was freed from my metal mouth cage. I knew for a few weeks now, but I was trying to surprise my mother so I couldn’t let it slip on the blog. I am SO over the moon about this and I can’t even describe how happy I am with the results.

I went in the morning before I was scheduled to get them off because I had a very small, but a noticeable gap in between two of my teeth. I figured that if my braces were coming off the next day, I only had one day to make any last second tweaks. I knew how easily my teeth move, so I just had them throw a power-chain across the front and it closed the gap up almost instantly.

I went in the next morning, OH WHAT A GLORIOUS MORNING. I’ve heard it can be painful to get braces off, but it was really nothing compared to everything else I’ve endured these past two years. Once they popped the brackets off, they took a good 30 minutes to grind all the glue off and polish my teeth. I was super worried that I would have really yellow teeth, or yellow teeth with weird white spots where the brackets were, but that wasn’t the case. I was very pleased with how white my teeth were considering how much they’ve been through. Obviously, I’m still planning on whitening them a little more, but it’s nice to be able to smile confidently right away. After they had polished everything, I went back for retainer impressions. I hadn’t had to bite into that goop since I had braces the first time around (age 10). Then they sent me to the lab again to get final scans and my “after” picture for the wall of smiles.

I came back at about 3pm to pick up my retainer. The top fit

gloriously, but I had to take new impressions because the bottom one didn’t fit for some reason. The next morning I went back and picked up my bottom retainer and I was finally set. I have to wear it for 18 hours a day for a few months to really make sure my teeth are staying in their place, but then I can move to just at night.

AH IM JUST SO HAPPY! This is the best Christmas present that I could ask for. During the few days leading up to Christmas, I kept having flashbacks to how miserable I was exactly a year ago from whatever moment I was in. I remembered how on Christmas Eve I literally thought I was going to die because I felt so weak and hadn’t eaten in three days. I almost made my mom take me back to the hospital. Today I laughed about it (well kinda, it's still kinda too soon, so we like cringe laughed and were grateful that it was over). It made me really grateful to be past it all and moving on with my life.  The only thing I really have left is my final appointment with my surgeon. He may or may not want to get rid of my chin dimple. We’ll see. I can take it.

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive throughout this whole journey. Before and After pictures coming soon!

11.5 Months

*sheepishly sneaks back, avoids the fact I haven't kept up with the blog and was MIA for 4 months*

I'm just gonna jump back in. I still have braces. My birthday passed, Thanksgiving passed, and I still have metal in my mouth. ALSO, it has been quite an interesting few months.

I went in at the beginning of October and I was told that they wanted to implement a "slingshot plan" on me. Like what even is that, right? I got a whole schpeel on what TAD's are (Temporary Anchoring Devices) and was shown a diagram of what they wanted to do to me (omg).

Mine was slightly different looking

Basically, they wanted to screw in two TAD's to the roof of my mouth, then attach a sling-shot shaped wire that would attach to two rubber bands, that would attach my front teeth and pull them back very slightly. I guess even though my teeth are straight, my front teeth were still 2mm or so, too far forward. Using this method, they could pull them into position without compromising the angle. Awesome concept, its proven to work, my orthodontist has done a million of them. So I said, okay fine. I've come this far I might as well. I scheduled my appointment and went in to get this done. Disclaimer: My description of this experience is not a dig at my orthodontist in any way. I'm just describing what happened to me personally. They numbed the roof of my mouth with a few shots which was fine; unpleasant but nothing major. Then they screwed the first screw in. I couldn't feel it, until the last couple turns. Since the screws were 8mm long they butted up against or may have pierced through my sinus cavity. I could feel the last couple of turns as it hit some nerve in my nose. It wasn't excruciating, but I started tearing up from the discomfort. Second screw goes in, same thing. Then he decided he didn't like the placement of the first screw, took it out, and put another one in. That sucked, more tears. Then it was another hour of keeping my mouth open (which is still hard to do even 11 months after surgery) while they glued, shaped, and attached the slingshot portion. Not a fun trip but I knew it had to be done and that it would help me. Two weeks go by, it's annoying and gets food stuck in it but it's not a huge deal.

Yep, you bet those came from my mouth.

UNTIL the morning that one of my rubber bands breaks. I freaked out. It was Saturday and I knew I wouldn't be able to see them for at least two days. So in fear that it would pull unequally on my teeth, I figured I should cut the other one off as well. I didn't think much of it, but called first thing on Monday morning. They were closed so I went in first thing Tuesday morning. I fully expected them to replace the rubber bands and send me on my way, but NO. With my luck, there was a slight problem. When I first got the screws in, my doctor described it like this: When you hang a painting on a wall, a very small nail can hold a large amount of weight perfectly fine. But once you take the painting off the nail, the nail comes out of the wall very easily. When I took all the tension of the rubber bands off of the screws, THEY STARTED COMING LOOSE. They told me the screws were too loose and they needed to take them out even though my teeth hadn't fully moved yet. Now this is the one part I wish would have been different. They removed the screws from the roof of my mouth without numbing me at all. It was extremely painful and it was made worse by the fear that they might have to re-do the entire procedure. But this time God smiled down on me and the doc told me we weren't going to put them back in. The holes healed up fine within a few days and didn't get infected or anything. (its the small victories)

Awww look at the gross yellow teeth :)

YIKES. I was mostly upset because I had to go through so much discomfort in such a short span, only to learn it hadn't worked all the way. I would love to be an advocate for this procedure, but I honestly didn't have the greatest experience with it. It has worked for many other people and extreme cases, I was of course just a rare case.

I got my next set of wires and was told to come back in a month. I had my most recent appointment last week. I was really hoping to get my braces off before the end of winter break but at this point I don't even care anymore. Originally I was only supposed to have them on 4-6 months after surgery. This is month 12...whats 2-3 more right? I still have two sets of sure smile wires left, but I might be able to skip straight to the last set next time. Even my younger siblings are getting their braces off before me. ugh. At least I don't have any extra contraptions in my mouth anymore. Just gotta wait it out. The finish line is in sight people!

One Month Out

Wow how time flies! I woke up and was like, "HEY. You made it a month with your new mouth." So I gave myself a little pat on the back and went back to sleep. Just kidding I had class- that's right I started school again this week. Its been interesting seeing and hearing everyone's reactions. Some people say I look pretty much the same, others are blown away at how different I look. Its really quite entertaining running into people who didn't know about the surgery, and watch them scan my face trying to figure out what is different. I've been trying to avoid bringing the surgery up to anyone and everyone I meet just because I feel like I'm oversharing and because its difficult to explain to a stranger. Plus I didn't want people thinking that I was just seeking attention. So I only tell people if they ask, or if I start to talk weird and have to explain myself.

8 Popsicle sticks wide.

Its been glorious to be able to eat soft foods again. I've had a lot of soft pasta, mashed potatoes, and ice cream. Since I've been cleared to smoosh food against my palette again, I've transitioned into the phase of "if it fits, I'll eat it." I can only open my mouth about the width of a finger. So if I can get it thru that gap, I'll eat it. Things I've "tongued" to death include, soft cookies, PB&J sandwich, pancakes, and Tuna. Its uncomfortable but it beats a strictly liquid diet. I've gained about 3lbs back which is good because that means I'm on my way back to my healthy weight.

I've started trying to get my jaw mobility back. I read somewhere to use Popsicle sticks to lodge your mouth open. So far at my best, I can open 8 Popsicle sticks wide. I do this about once a day for 10-15 minutes intermittently. One minute in, 30 seconds rest. If It starts to feel normal, or no longer hurts, you can add another stick and repeat.

I go back to the Orthodontist office next Monday. I'm hoping I'll be able to open my mouth wide enough for them to fix my missing bracket and replace my bottom wire. One thing is for sure, I'm going to take a percautiously large dose of IB Profin before I sit in that chair again.

The Numbness is actually really going away. I can feel almost my whole chin again! My bottom lip is still tingly and sensitive, but my upper left lips is still kinda numb. The stiffness is starting to subside, probably because of the face exercises. I still can't close my mouth comfortably, it still feels forced and looks weird. I'm sure its only a matter of time before I get it all back! 

Also, no matter how much I brush, I think the damage is done. My poor teeth are a dingy yellow. They are healthy and clean though, just stained from having braces and from not being able to brush for two weeks straight. I can't wait to get them cleaned and whitened when this is all over! :)))

3 Weeks Out!!

Can I get a WOOT WOOT?

This Gelato really hits...the SPOT...

It's week three and almost everything is getting easier. I am more active, taking in more calories, and getting even more into my Netflix shows.. yeah, while I've been getting out more, its also exhausting. So for the time, Netflix is still my go-to for relaxing. Plus I'll be returning to school in a week, so I'm enjoying all the screen time I have left.

Today was my three week appointment with my Surgeon AND my first post op appointment with my Orthodontist. First stop was the orthodontist, and what I thought would be a short, sweet, "wow, looks good" appointment, quickly turned into an hour long cry fest. He poked around, and stretched my mouth more than I had hoped. He decided that I was ready enough to have my segmented pre-surgical wires taken out and replaced by the usual single braces wire. Sometime last week I figured out that I was missing a bracket on my right back molar. Turns out it came out during surgery, and they forgot to tell me. So I spent most of the week freaking out, thinking the thing had somehow entered one of my open mouth wounds and was lodged in my face forever. ANYWAY, my orthodontist wanted to replace this bracket but after lots of jaw stretching and tearing up on my part, he could not get his tools down there to fix it. I was relieved because I had already had my mouth open to max capacity for 30 minutes. So they just replaced my top wire and told me to come back in a week. Its not the orthodontist's fault that I'm such a baby, so I'm thankful that they're so flexible with the timeline of my post-surgical braces appointments. :)

I'm adoring my new profile. :)

Next up was the Surgeons office. It was a magical visit. As soon as I sat down in the chair, *POOF* my surgeon appeared. He had me open and bite a few times and wiggled my top jaw to
make sure it was stable. Then he said the words that I had been dying to hear for weeks, "MASHED POTATOES." But it didn't stop there-oh no. He continued on to say I could even start to chew very soft foods. He said I could have Mac & Cheese, oatmeal, soft pastas and Ice Cream. I was NOT expecting him to tell me I could chew anything at all until 6 weeks so I was totally caught off guard. I literally got teary eyed when he told me. Partially because I was already emotional from the traumatic appointment before, but also because my brain partially shut down from happiness overload. You try going three weeks on a strictly liquid and mush diet, and then come talk to me. They told me everything looked good, answered my questions, and said they'd see me in three more weeks.

In celebration of this milestone, my mom took me to get Gelato! I asked for a sample but it was too big to fit in my poor wounded mouth. The lady looked at me like I was psycho as I tried to open wider to shove the sample in. Nothing, not even weird looks, was gonna stop me from eating gelato... That night I got KFC mashed potatoes and mac & cheese. Let me tell you, wow. Mashed Potatoes never tasted so good. I tried to chew a cheesy noodle but quickly lost it in my cheek. This is gonna take some serious time and patience to re-learn how to chew again.

Numbness and Stiffness
The numbness is slowly going away as I get sensation back. Its not quite feeling yet but really prickly when I touch parts of my face. I've figured out that my speech is awkward still not because of the numbness, but because of the stiffness. The Doc told me that the stiffness will go away with time and I'll eventually be able to close my mouth without looking forced.

Pain & Swelling
I switched from my fluffy pillow to my flat pillow and the next morning I woke up feeling super swollen and in some pain. I think that maybe sleeping completely flat is not the best idea yet...switching back to my fluffy pillow as we speak. In general, the swelling is like 95% gone. Only I can tell there is any left. My pain is really only in the morning when I wake up and its just a dull soreness. Now that I've started chewing soft stuff, I have a little more aching but its tolerable.

At least its not creepy anymore..

I go back to school this week which should be interesting. My biggest worry is just my talking, but I doubt anyone will make fun of me. I just wish I didn't have to introduce myself in every class. I'll probably end up telling everyone I had Jaw Surgery just so they don't think I'm having a stroke. I feel like I have 98% of my energy back now, and I'm on my way to getting back to a healthy weight. I can't wait to start lifting weights and running again! In about 2 weeks I'll be allowed to jog/run and lift light weights. Still not too much bending over, but I'll make it work! Life is starting to slowly feel normal again and I'm excited to be with all my friends again. I'm hoping time will start to pass quickly so I can get to the part where I get my braces off. :)

It's Tomorrow...

Well shoot. Here we are.

Just one more thing to get food stuck in...

Today I had my last Orthodontist appointment before surgery. This was where they took 2 hours to put on what are called "surgical hooks." These bad boys are for nothing more than to irritate the living daylights out of my lips. No, I kid. They're so that when the surgeon is done making my mouth all pretty, he doesn't have to sew it shut. I guess they used to have to wire people's mouths shut, but now they can just put rubber bands to hold everything in place. They're not even hooks though, just a little stick with a ball on the end (thank God). I have to keep them on for 3 weeks after surgery, then I get normal brace rubber bands.

God's gift to man.

Today is ALSO my last day of chewable freedom...And boy did I take advantage of it. Krispy Kreme for breakfast, Chick-Fil-A for lunch, and MEXICAN FOOD for dinner. Even though I know I'm going to lose weight from my liquid diet, I still felt kind of guilty eating all the bad food. Whatever, I'll thank myself for it after only 24 hours of smoothies and shake.

How am I feeling? You know when you promise your mom you'll clean the toilet? And then you realize that you are terrified of germs and that it was a bad thing for you to volunteer for? But you gotta do it now, because you already committed to it. And now you're just absolutely dreading it because you know how much its going to suck. But you have to do it NOW, there's no turning back, because there's guests coming to the house tonight and you can't let them sit on your dirty toilet! So you do it and it sucks, ohhhhh it sucks so bad. But when its over you feel accomplished and you even get a compliment on how clean the toilet is (that's weird). It's all fine and dandy now, but you will never volunteer for that again...apply that metaphor to jaw surgery and that's how I'm feeling. The surgery is happening tomorrow, there's no question about that. I'm not even nervous for the surgery itself, just the recovery. My doctor keeps telling me that it won't be as bad as I think, but it doesn't sound like a walk in the park to me. What is getting me past the dread to recover, is the fact that the end is in sight! In less than 5 months, I'll have my braces off and put this chapter of life behind me! I'll be able to bite things, and smile with pretty brace-free teeth. That, along with all the support I've been getting from everyone, is what's making me believe that I can get through this alright.

I'll try to post as much as I can during my actual recovery along with some pictures. Thoughts and prayers are appreciated because as Greys Anatomy has taught me, anything can happen during surgery...


Here's to hoping for the best! :)