1 Year

Right before. With glue still on teeth. Polished Teeth.

SURPRISE! I GOT MY BRACES OFF!!!! 364 days after my double jaw surgery, I was freed from my metal mouth cage. I knew for a few weeks now, but I was trying to surprise my mother so I couldn’t let it slip on the blog. I am SO over the moon about this and I can’t even describe how happy I am with the results.

I went in the morning before I was scheduled to get them off because I had a very small, but a noticeable gap in between two of my teeth. I figured that if my braces were coming off the next day, I only had one day to make any last second tweaks. I knew how easily my teeth move, so I just had them throw a power-chain across the front and it closed the gap up almost instantly.

I went in the next morning, OH WHAT A GLORIOUS MORNING. I’ve heard it can be painful to get braces off, but it was really nothing compared to everything else I’ve endured these past two years. Once they popped the brackets off, they took a good 30 minutes to grind all the glue off and polish my teeth. I was super worried that I would have really yellow teeth, or yellow teeth with weird white spots where the brackets were, but that wasn’t the case. I was very pleased with how white my teeth were considering how much they’ve been through. Obviously, I’m still planning on whitening them a little more, but it’s nice to be able to smile confidently right away. After they had polished everything, I went back for retainer impressions. I hadn’t had to bite into that goop since I had braces the first time around (age 10). Then they sent me to the lab again to get final scans and my “after” picture for the wall of smiles.

I came back at about 3pm to pick up my retainer. The top fit

gloriously, but I had to take new impressions because the bottom one didn’t fit for some reason. The next morning I went back and picked up my bottom retainer and I was finally set. I have to wear it for 18 hours a day for a few months to really make sure my teeth are staying in their place, but then I can move to just at night.

AH IM JUST SO HAPPY! This is the best Christmas present that I could ask for. During the few days leading up to Christmas, I kept having flashbacks to how miserable I was exactly a year ago from whatever moment I was in. I remembered how on Christmas Eve I literally thought I was going to die because I felt so weak and hadn’t eaten in three days. I almost made my mom take me back to the hospital. Today I laughed about it (well kinda, it's still kinda too soon, so we like cringe laughed and were grateful that it was over). It made me really grateful to be past it all and moving on with my life.  The only thing I really have left is my final appointment with my surgeon. He may or may not want to get rid of my chin dimple. We’ll see. I can take it.

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive throughout this whole journey. Before and After pictures coming soon!

5 Weeks Out

The first picture of me taken by someone else (since my surgery)

Good News friends, it does get better! Once again I blinked and a week flew by. I am so thankful for the distraction of school because it helps me to feel normal again. Today I yawned super big, and for the first time it didn't hurt. I think the popsicle stick stretching is paying off. I can open my mouth up about the width of two fingers. While this seems painfully small, I feel like my mouth is at max...openness I guess? IT FEELS WIDE OKAY. And then I look in the mirror and realize its almost nothing. I thought school would drain me, but it really didn't, so I did what all recovering jaw surgery patients do, and got a job. I like to keep busy so why no be paid too, right?

I had an Orthodontist appointment this week. He and all the assistants said I look great, but I think they are obligated to say that since I'm paying them thousands of dollars to fix my teeth. This visit, they were scheduled to fix a bracket that came off during surgery. They couldn't fix it last time because I couldn't open my mouth wide enough and it hurt like hell. So they fixed it and changed my bottom wire. I'm now on track to perfecting my smile and being done with braces once and for all! There's a small chance I'll have to go through the whole 'Sure Smile' process again depending on how drastically they feel my teeth need to move. If so, Ill get them off in June. If not, probably April!

Havasupai Falls baby!

I also have been attempting to exercise more. When I can fit it in, I try to walk on the treadmill or on campus. I tried to really push my heart rate on the treadmill (just to see what would happen) and I quickly realized why they want me to wait a while to exert myself. I could literally feel the roof of my mouth and my jaw pounding. So for at least one more week, I'm not gonna try jogging or lifting weights. I recently went with one of my friends to our local lake and did a mild hike around there. Its was beautiful and it was really nice to hike again. In April, I have the opportunity to hike the Grand Canyon down to Havasupai Falls. I'm stoked but I'm realizing I need to get in amazing shape as soon as I'm allowed to. The hike is 2 miles down and 10 miles into the canyon. I've heard its super hard and I'm basically a pile of dough right now... so I need to get on that.

I've had a week of realizations too. When I was hiking, my friend took a picture of me and I realized it was the first picture of me that hadn't been taken BY me. It was so crazy to see myself from a different view and see how different I really do look. I think it will still take a while to get used to my new face. My friends are slowly getting used to it, but I have a feeling my mom is gonna freak when she sees me for the first time again. Heck, I still stop and stare at a mirror when I see myself. But the best part is honestly that my teeth all fit together. Something else kind of blew my mind this week. My speech is ALMOST normal again which means, people don't know anything happened to me in the first place. I met a gentleman today and I realized that, he will never know what I used to look like. No person that I meet from now until I die, will ever know the face that I had for the first 20 years of my life. They will only know who they see before them now. And I don't know why, but that was crazy to me! Not that I'm a new person now, but I'm slightly less self-conscious now. I think that when I get my braces off, I'll have waaaaaay more self-confidence. I really can't wait for that. :)

I only have one week left until I'm "technically allowed to chew." 6 weeks is almost here!! I've been trying to force myself to experiment with chewing my pasta, but its so foreign and weird. While I can chew through the noodles easily, I don't have control of my cheeks yet. I've discovered that we literally rely on every mouth muscle to eat our food. My lips still don't close comfortably. Today I was stretching my face, AND SOMETHING POPPED. It didn't hurt or anything but it was so. weird. It might have been nose cartilage or maybe it was the tightness under my nose releasing? I don't know, but if I suddenly have all my feeling and control back, I'll be attempting to pop my face more. I should also note that my bottom lip has been super sensitive and it hasn't gotten any better yet. Even putting on chap-stick is still uncomfortable. My gums are slowly coming back; I can feel all my bottom gums, but my front top ones still have no feeling. All the numbness is my face is gone! I'm super surprised because most people have at least one patch of numbness somewhere on their chin. The only thing still slightly numb is the upper left lip. Go figure. But lip, I love you, I need you, and I want you back. Please come back to me.

One Month Out

Wow how time flies! I woke up and was like, "HEY. You made it a month with your new mouth." So I gave myself a little pat on the back and went back to sleep. Just kidding I had class- that's right I started school again this week. Its been interesting seeing and hearing everyone's reactions. Some people say I look pretty much the same, others are blown away at how different I look. Its really quite entertaining running into people who didn't know about the surgery, and watch them scan my face trying to figure out what is different. I've been trying to avoid bringing the surgery up to anyone and everyone I meet just because I feel like I'm oversharing and because its difficult to explain to a stranger. Plus I didn't want people thinking that I was just seeking attention. So I only tell people if they ask, or if I start to talk weird and have to explain myself.

8 Popsicle sticks wide.

Its been glorious to be able to eat soft foods again. I've had a lot of soft pasta, mashed potatoes, and ice cream. Since I've been cleared to smoosh food against my palette again, I've transitioned into the phase of "if it fits, I'll eat it." I can only open my mouth about the width of a finger. So if I can get it thru that gap, I'll eat it. Things I've "tongued" to death include, soft cookies, PB&J sandwich, pancakes, and Tuna. Its uncomfortable but it beats a strictly liquid diet. I've gained about 3lbs back which is good because that means I'm on my way back to my healthy weight.

I've started trying to get my jaw mobility back. I read somewhere to use Popsicle sticks to lodge your mouth open. So far at my best, I can open 8 Popsicle sticks wide. I do this about once a day for 10-15 minutes intermittently. One minute in, 30 seconds rest. If It starts to feel normal, or no longer hurts, you can add another stick and repeat.

I go back to the Orthodontist office next Monday. I'm hoping I'll be able to open my mouth wide enough for them to fix my missing bracket and replace my bottom wire. One thing is for sure, I'm going to take a percautiously large dose of IB Profin before I sit in that chair again.

The Numbness is actually really going away. I can feel almost my whole chin again! My bottom lip is still tingly and sensitive, but my upper left lips is still kinda numb. The stiffness is starting to subside, probably because of the face exercises. I still can't close my mouth comfortably, it still feels forced and looks weird. I'm sure its only a matter of time before I get it all back! 

Also, no matter how much I brush, I think the damage is done. My poor teeth are a dingy yellow. They are healthy and clean though, just stained from having braces and from not being able to brush for two weeks straight. I can't wait to get them cleaned and whitened when this is all over! :)))

"How'd this happen?"

 GREAT QUESTION.


Well it all started in a Galaxy Far Far Awa- ahhhhh gotcha. No but really, this whole thing started a long time ago. I have no idea if this had any effect on start of my mouth issues, but I sucked my thumb until I was about 8 years old...Yep I was a thumb-sucker. My mom tried everything short of just cutting the damn thing off. I was in third grade when I got a thumb guard, (right)

I always got food stuck in it. Yum, save that for later.

that I finally quit for good. They slapped some braces on poor little third grade me and sent me on my way. I was literally the only 3rd grader in my school who had braces and I was mortified. About a year later they finally realized that braces alone weren't fixing the damage that 8 years of thumb-sucking had done. So off came the thumb guard and on came the palate expander (left). They cranked that thing for another year until they assumed my bite was wide enough, then off came the braces and the torture device. I got my braces off at about 11 years old (the time all my friends started getting them on) and I thought that I had finally gotten the last laugh. But oh was I wrong...

Worst. Pain. Ever.

Fast forward about 5 years and...Wow, would you look at that. My mouth was messed up once again. I had lost my retainer after about a month, and at the time, no one was talking about how important retainers were. Guess what...my teeth all moved. I was about to enter high school when I really started noticing the awkward gap between my upper and lower teeth. I could stick my tongue through it and drink through a straw. I remember one car ride I mentioned it to my mom and we soon returned to the orthodontist. I thought that they would be mad because my teeth had moved, but they were so perplexed by my mouth shift, that they sent me to our local Oral Maxillofacial Surgeon. We had a consultation, they told me I'd need surgery if I ever wanted to bite right, but the price tag drove us away. I was going to have to live with my open bite until/ IF we ever found the money to make it happen. I gave up hope for the correction of my face forever. I didn't think about it much except when I tried to bite foods or if I saw myself in pictures. I always noticed in pictures that I would have a double chin. I soon realized that I basically had no chin... or as the doctors call it, a "weak chin." I became very self conscious of this which was super fun, especially going through high school.

How I felt 24/7

Freshmen year of college, I got pulled aside and told that, SURPRISE, you get to have the surgery after all. I was literally in shock though. Like, I was happy because it meant good changes, but I also might have started crying because I was scared of what kind of surgery that would mean for me. It also meant that I would have to be THAT kid in college with braces. Of course by the time you get to college, everyone else has already gotten their braces off and have perfect, amazing, white smiles. Just my luck that I would have braces book-ending the normal time for people to have braces... awesome.

So here begins the adventure into my Jaw Surgery journey.