6 Weeks Out!

Yeah I almost forgot to post this week... that is proof that life goes back to normal!

My Surgeon kindly agreed to take a picture with me.

I had my 6 weeks post-op appointment this week. It was my last appointment with my surgeon until my braces come off. They want my to come back so they can take their "after" pictures and brag about what a good job they did on me. I'm super excited for that appointment because that'll mean I'M FREE. Also I'm hesitant to post any before pictures because I feel like it'll take away from the whole dramatic "before and after" unveiling. So stay tuned for that post. At my appointment, I was expecting him to clear me to chew whatever I wanted. But he wiggled my upper jaw, said it was still a little loose, and told me to continue the soft food diet for the remainder of the next three weeks. They say that my bone will be 100% healed at 9 weeks and I'll be good to go! Chewing to my heart's content. They also cleared me to start exercising as much as I want, meaning lifting weights running and exerting myself. I'm not allowed to play sports for two more weeks because if a ball were to hit me the wrong way, my face could move and eventually heal wrong. So as much as I hate not being able to train with my volleyball team, I think I can wait at the cost of my face.

I'm keeping super busy as usual so time flies and I occasionally forget I had the surgery in the first place. My speech is back at about 95% normality. The only time I feel like I have a lisp or awkward movement is when I'm smiling and trying to talk at the same time. My upper lip still has a tiny little bit of stiffness which is still prohibiting me from closing my mouth when its relaxed. Don't get me wrong, its definitely improving, but its not normal yet. And my chin feels pretty stiff still but I don't really need my chin for much at the moment. This is the best news yet....THE NUMBNESS IS ALL GONE! Even though there are still areas that have some tingling left in them, there isn't any place on my face that has no feeling. I can't even tell you how happy this makes me! (Shoutout to my Surgeon)

Let me preface this next part by saying I am so extremely happy with my results. I'm only 6 weeks out but my bite is perfect and fits beautifully. However, like I have read on other blogs, its been kind of a trip getting used to my new face. Its really psychological and it's not that I don't like myself when I look in the mirror, but its freaky. I saw myself one way for 20 years and now I look different. I tried not to make a big deal out of it or tell anyone, but I had some rough days these past few weeks. I've also had some freaking bomb days where my confidence is through the roof. Here's a picture of me on a day I was really feeling myself lol. As a side note, now that people are used to seeing the "new me," the general consensus is that my face looks thinner in shape. That it looks slimmer. Looking at pictures I feel like my nose looks wider when I smile, but maybe there's still swelling I don't normally notice? Only time will tell!

5 Weeks Out

The first picture of me taken by someone else (since my surgery)

Good News friends, it does get better! Once again I blinked and a week flew by. I am so thankful for the distraction of school because it helps me to feel normal again. Today I yawned super big, and for the first time it didn't hurt. I think the popsicle stick stretching is paying off. I can open my mouth up about the width of two fingers. While this seems painfully small, I feel like my mouth is at max...openness I guess? IT FEELS WIDE OKAY. And then I look in the mirror and realize its almost nothing. I thought school would drain me, but it really didn't, so I did what all recovering jaw surgery patients do, and got a job. I like to keep busy so why no be paid too, right?

I had an Orthodontist appointment this week. He and all the assistants said I look great, but I think they are obligated to say that since I'm paying them thousands of dollars to fix my teeth. This visit, they were scheduled to fix a bracket that came off during surgery. They couldn't fix it last time because I couldn't open my mouth wide enough and it hurt like hell. So they fixed it and changed my bottom wire. I'm now on track to perfecting my smile and being done with braces once and for all! There's a small chance I'll have to go through the whole 'Sure Smile' process again depending on how drastically they feel my teeth need to move. If so, Ill get them off in June. If not, probably April!

Havasupai Falls baby!

I also have been attempting to exercise more. When I can fit it in, I try to walk on the treadmill or on campus. I tried to really push my heart rate on the treadmill (just to see what would happen) and I quickly realized why they want me to wait a while to exert myself. I could literally feel the roof of my mouth and my jaw pounding. So for at least one more week, I'm not gonna try jogging or lifting weights. I recently went with one of my friends to our local lake and did a mild hike around there. Its was beautiful and it was really nice to hike again. In April, I have the opportunity to hike the Grand Canyon down to Havasupai Falls. I'm stoked but I'm realizing I need to get in amazing shape as soon as I'm allowed to. The hike is 2 miles down and 10 miles into the canyon. I've heard its super hard and I'm basically a pile of dough right now... so I need to get on that.

I've had a week of realizations too. When I was hiking, my friend took a picture of me and I realized it was the first picture of me that hadn't been taken BY me. It was so crazy to see myself from a different view and see how different I really do look. I think it will still take a while to get used to my new face. My friends are slowly getting used to it, but I have a feeling my mom is gonna freak when she sees me for the first time again. Heck, I still stop and stare at a mirror when I see myself. But the best part is honestly that my teeth all fit together. Something else kind of blew my mind this week. My speech is ALMOST normal again which means, people don't know anything happened to me in the first place. I met a gentleman today and I realized that, he will never know what I used to look like. No person that I meet from now until I die, will ever know the face that I had for the first 20 years of my life. They will only know who they see before them now. And I don't know why, but that was crazy to me! Not that I'm a new person now, but I'm slightly less self-conscious now. I think that when I get my braces off, I'll have waaaaaay more self-confidence. I really can't wait for that. :)

I only have one week left until I'm "technically allowed to chew." 6 weeks is almost here!! I've been trying to force myself to experiment with chewing my pasta, but its so foreign and weird. While I can chew through the noodles easily, I don't have control of my cheeks yet. I've discovered that we literally rely on every mouth muscle to eat our food. My lips still don't close comfortably. Today I was stretching my face, AND SOMETHING POPPED. It didn't hurt or anything but it was so. weird. It might have been nose cartilage or maybe it was the tightness under my nose releasing? I don't know, but if I suddenly have all my feeling and control back, I'll be attempting to pop my face more. I should also note that my bottom lip has been super sensitive and it hasn't gotten any better yet. Even putting on chap-stick is still uncomfortable. My gums are slowly coming back; I can feel all my bottom gums, but my front top ones still have no feeling. All the numbness is my face is gone! I'm super surprised because most people have at least one patch of numbness somewhere on their chin. The only thing still slightly numb is the upper left lip. Go figure. But lip, I love you, I need you, and I want you back. Please come back to me.

It's Tomorrow...

Well shoot. Here we are.

Just one more thing to get food stuck in...

Today I had my last Orthodontist appointment before surgery. This was where they took 2 hours to put on what are called "surgical hooks." These bad boys are for nothing more than to irritate the living daylights out of my lips. No, I kid. They're so that when the surgeon is done making my mouth all pretty, he doesn't have to sew it shut. I guess they used to have to wire people's mouths shut, but now they can just put rubber bands to hold everything in place. They're not even hooks though, just a little stick with a ball on the end (thank God). I have to keep them on for 3 weeks after surgery, then I get normal brace rubber bands.

God's gift to man.

Today is ALSO my last day of chewable freedom...And boy did I take advantage of it. Krispy Kreme for breakfast, Chick-Fil-A for lunch, and MEXICAN FOOD for dinner. Even though I know I'm going to lose weight from my liquid diet, I still felt kind of guilty eating all the bad food. Whatever, I'll thank myself for it after only 24 hours of smoothies and shake.

How am I feeling? You know when you promise your mom you'll clean the toilet? And then you realize that you are terrified of germs and that it was a bad thing for you to volunteer for? But you gotta do it now, because you already committed to it. And now you're just absolutely dreading it because you know how much its going to suck. But you have to do it NOW, there's no turning back, because there's guests coming to the house tonight and you can't let them sit on your dirty toilet! So you do it and it sucks, ohhhhh it sucks so bad. But when its over you feel accomplished and you even get a compliment on how clean the toilet is (that's weird). It's all fine and dandy now, but you will never volunteer for that again...apply that metaphor to jaw surgery and that's how I'm feeling. The surgery is happening tomorrow, there's no question about that. I'm not even nervous for the surgery itself, just the recovery. My doctor keeps telling me that it won't be as bad as I think, but it doesn't sound like a walk in the park to me. What is getting me past the dread to recover, is the fact that the end is in sight! In less than 5 months, I'll have my braces off and put this chapter of life behind me! I'll be able to bite things, and smile with pretty brace-free teeth. That, along with all the support I've been getting from everyone, is what's making me believe that I can get through this alright.

I'll try to post as much as I can during my actual recovery along with some pictures. Thoughts and prayers are appreciated because as Greys Anatomy has taught me, anything can happen during surgery...


Here's to hoping for the best! :)