7 Months Out

I found an old picture where I had a similar styled selfie, so I put my old mouth and current mouth side by side for a little comparison.

WOW sorry about that. It's like I fell into a coma or dropped off the side of the earth or something. You'd like to think that, but once again, I've been so very busy. By popular (or just a normal amount) of demand, I have returned to update you on my face.

Since we last talked (...4 months ago...) A lot has happened, but also nothing has happened. By that I mean my life has been so full and busy, but guess what...I still have braces. Long story short, I went in for the 4 month appointment, and I was told I should go in for another set of suresmile wires and start another plan. So I did, and I went through 3 more sets of wires to get everything all nice and perfect. Then I left for camp for two months, which I'll say more about later, and was told that I could get them off the week between coming back from camp, and heading back to school.

So that brings us to today. This morning I went in bright and early knowing I had done a great job and not broken a single bracket, KNOWING for sure that today was the day I'd bloom into a beautiful butterfly. But then I sat down in the chair, and the doc came over and I did not hear ooh's and ahh's from him. Rather I heard the oh's and the ehh's. He told me that there were a few things that he wants to fix because although they feel good, my teeth aren't aligned perfectly yet. This means a whole other suresmile plan again and who knows how many more months of braces.  I was so frustrated that I started to cry in front of him and honestly gave a little attitude like, "Well don't I get a say in this?" and I was about ready to just demand he take them off. But I remembered that as much as I wanted them off ASAP, I hadn't even had them for two years and some kids have them for like 5. I just really wanted to get them off before school started, but I guess that wasn't in the cards for me this time. I had it all planned out too, the first thing I was going to do was buy an apple and take a big bite into it. But that will just have to wait.

Okay so I worked at a Christian Kids Camp this summer and one of my favorite ice breakers was to tell the kids of my titanium jaw. They'd ask all sorts of questions and then I'd tell them I'm practically a cyborg. Also while at camp, I WAS SUCH AN OBEDIENT PATIENT. I avoided all apples, tough candies and anything that might possibly break off a bracket. I also took fabulous care of my teeth, ask my roommates, they had to listen to the waterpik engine late every night. And I also told like everyone and their mother at camp that I'd be getting my braces off today...and once again I feel like a doofus.

So now I start dealing with the mental let down of not turning into a butterfly- juuuuust yet.

The only traces of the surgery left at 7 months out, is that my face is still loosening up in places and I still can't open up as wide as I used to. I never realize it unless I try to whistle, make absurd faces that I used to be able to make, or eat a large sandwich.  Everything else feels 100% normal which I am so SO grateful for.

They're gonna give me a call in a month when my sure smile wires come in, and I'll see what the time estimate is from there. At this point I'm just hoping to have them off by my Birthday and no later than Thanksgiving. I'll let you know when I know lol.

Survival Tips for Recovery

I've spent a quality chunk of time on this- trying to recall every last teachable moment from my recovery. What worked, what I regret doing/not doing- YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET IT ALL FOLKS. If you've read all of my posts throughout recovery, you've probably picked up on some of my recommendations. I'll try and address all aspects of recovery as to answer all your questions and help prepare you for what is to come.

Prepping for Surgery:

If you're going ahead with this surgery, I assume you've had all the crazy extensive "before" pictures taken for the records. I wish I would have taken my own, because I don't know when/if I'll ever get a hold of those. I would suggest taking your own pictures of your teeth and face shape before you get braces, after you get braces, and about a week before surgery. When this is all just a memory, you'll look back and wish you had pictures of before. Plus it will make you appreciate the changes even more.

Here's my list of items to get before the surgery.

• $1 Picnic Ketchup and Mustard Bottles- you can find them in the dinning section of any Walmart. I used these to eat and drink everything for the first two weeks. (I got so used to them that I forgot I looked insane in public when I would drink from them) You can also purchase them in clear if you can't handle the fact that it looks like you're drinking ketchup. 
• Mira-lax or similar powdered laxatives. You won't really be able to swallow pills for at least the first week, otherwise I would suggest regular laxative pills. Mira-lax is SO important. The hospital heavy narcotics will stop you up real quick and eventually make you nauseated. The sooner you can clean house, the better...
• Recliner/Lazy Boy- If you don't already own a recliner, borrow one from a friend or buy a second hand one somewhere. I tried to prop myself up in bed with pillows, but it just wasn't comfortable. You will most likely be living in this recliner for the first week, so make sure its comfortable and can lean back well. 
• Neck Pillow- This was a LIFESAVER for me. My neck got super sore after the first night of trying to sleep with real pillows propped all around me. I slept 100 times better after I got one. It also helps with the nasal draining and bruising because it keeps your head tilted up while also supporting your neck. 10/10 would recommend. 
• Humidifier- I recovered in a very dry climate so I found this especially helpful. It helped the drainage in my sinuses and just made me feel a little more hydrated.
• Water Pik- If you don't already own a Water Pik, WHY NOT??? I actually got one about the
  
  time I got my braces on, but didn't ever use it. About a month before surgery I got it out and tried it. I. was. shocked. at the amount of food that came out of my braces even after brushing. The Water Pik in general made me feel like I was getting a cleaner mouth, but it was essential during recovery. You can't get a brush in your mouth for the first two weeks or so, so I used the Water Pik on its lowest setting with the little tooth brush extension. It obviously wasn't as good as really brushing your teeth, but it made a difference.
• Boob cream / Vaseline- Yeah I said it. Go out and find yourself a nice tube of nipple cream. It works wonders on your poor swollen lips. Make sure to get the kind with Lanolin in the ingredients. If you get Vaseline, I recommend the Cocoa Butter flavor, it's a lot more pleasant and smells nice. 
• Baby Burp Rags- In the spirit of feeling like an actual infant for a week, invest in a pack of burp rags. I would say use regular towels, but these were so soft and convenient, they might just be worth the splurge. I propped one of these bad boys under my chin and it did a fine job collecting all my drool. Its also nice to have one handy when you're attempting to eat or drink anything. 
• Comfortable clothes- This one is pretty self-explanatory, I only changed clothes once the first week, but it helps to have soft clothes that you're comfortable in. I also had a robe which was nice because it made bathroom trips easier, if you know what I mean.
• A bucket- Either for trash or for possible vomit, this came in handy for me. Not to scare you, but its a good idea to keep a bucket near-by just in case you can't make it to the toilet in-time. Not everyone gets sick, but its good to be prepared.

Food Recommendations:
Sadly, your surgeon will probably inform you that you are not allowed to chew ANYTHING for about 6 weeks. This seems like an eternity, and for the first month, it is. Especially when you start to get cravings for anything and everything that you absolutely cannot have. So you will need to be mentally tough. And if you can't its okay, I cried during a commercial for Cupcake Wars. No shame.

While there are a million things you CAN'T eat, lets focus on all the things you can.  

Is apple sauce a food group?

• Apple Sauce
• Baby food (stick to the fruity ones unless you can stomach mashed peas)
• Juice (or a juice, apple sauce combo)
• Gatorade
• Chicken/ Beef Broth
• Milkshakes (thinned with milk)
• Very very well blended soup purees (add water if you need it thinner)
• Ice Cream
• Fruit Smoothies

Seems like almost nothing right? Well this is the stage where you'll probably drop a few pounds. But don't fret, you'll be able to eat more soon!

I'm obsessed.

After the first 4-5 weeks:

• Ramen, noodles in general
• Mashed Potatoes
• Mac & Cheese
• Soups with soft vegetables 
• Very soft vegetables
• Cooked Fish
• More Apple Sauce
• Cottage Cheese
• Scrambled eggs
• Anything mashed up with milk (cake, cookies, brownies) :)

At this point, you can really eat anything you want as long as you can mash it against the roof of your mouth and not chew it with your teeth. Then, once your surgeon thinks your palette and jaw are stable enough, he'll clear you to start experimenting with chewing. Learning to chew again is a strange thing and can get frustrating. But stick with it and practice chewing by chewing gum when permitted. It'll help you train your jaw muscles how to move again.

 DO's

• Have someone to take care of you for the first week. A friend, a parent, sibling, significant other, whoever you are comfortable with seeing you in your most vulnerable state. I can't imagine having gone through those first 72 hours without someone's help. 
• Drink as much water as you can. The first three days are pretty much a clear liquid diet. I wasn't really even that hungry because of my nausea. 
• Take FULL advantage of the suction stick when you wake up from surgery. When you finally come to in the Hospital, they should give you a suction stick so that you can suck up excess blood that might be in your mouth. DO IT. I didn't start using it until about halfway through the night. And by then, who knows how much excess blood I had swallowed. I didn't swallow enough to make me sick, but I think it added to my nausea. 
• Get up and move around the house. Being stuck in a bed or recliner for a week isn't much fun. I did a daily lap around the house to feel accomplished. Eventually I worked my way up to mile long morning walks at about 3 weeks out. 
• Have a full supply of movies or TV shows ready to be binge watched. There was no way I was going to have the mental capacity to read a book, but I was able to handle quite a few Disney movies.  
• If they offer to write you a prescription for anti-nausea meds to have at home, take them up on it. I didn't think I would need them, but then I got home and was so nauseated that I couldn't even take my pain meds. At least have them so that if you need them, they'll be there.

DON'Ts

•  Crying. Don't do it. At least not for the first week or two. I found this out the hard way when my roommate called me to tell me she had gotten engaged. I had only been home from the hospital for a few hours and was still pretty drugged up. I couldn't control my emotions and started blubbering like a baby. My sinuses started draining all the blood and gunk that was in them, into my empty stomach. Pretty much right after that I got sick and threw up what little I had in my stomach. So try to be as chill as you can during the first week. About the time they tell you its okay to blow your nose again is probably when its safe to cry. 
• Don't blow your nose. This really only applies to the people who are having the 3 piece upper done or someone who also had a deviated septum repair. It sucks, and its super hard, but don't do it. I recommend getting Q-tips and cleaning your nose out as needed. Just don't blow. 
• Don't wait too long to take your next dosage of pain meds. This is especially important the first week. Try to stack them within 20 minutes of each new dosage so that they don't wear off and leave you in pain. 
•  Don't feel sorry for yourself for too long. Afterall, you did pay them to do this to you. You get like a 2 week grace period, then after that you should probably toughen up a bit.

BLOGS THAT HELPED ME A TON:

Please keep in mind that everyone's experiences are different and some people heal at different rates than others. These were all super great resources that I used to help inform myself before surgery.

https://roxsjawsurgery.wordpress.com/
https://www.doublejawsurgery.com/
http://mymilliondollarsmilee.blogspot.com/
http://survivingjawsurgery.blogspot.com/
http://www.twojawsurgery.com/p/recovery-timeline.html


I hope these tips help you with your recovery, each of the blogs above have their own lists and tips that helped me. It's good to look at them all because you can learn from others mistake and find what will work best for your recovery. I wish you good luck in your recovery, and remember that it WILL be worth it. :)

One Week Out

Okay so its really been 8 days, but for the sake of this blog its been a week.

Quite a lot of progress has been made in the past 4 days! First the drooling got significantly worse, and now it's pretty much gone. I am gaining back feeling in my face more and more everyday. I can now feel the entire right side of my upper lip, along with random patches all over my cheeks and chin. It feels so weird when the nerves are regenerating! There's lots of tingling and sometimes a little prick of pain. On my chin it keeps feeling like I'm drooling, but then I wipe and there's nothing there! Its quite a trip.

I had my one week post-op appointment yesterday. I had a list of questions a mile long for my surgeon. The first thing he said was "Dang, I got you really good didn't I?" He was referring to the large bruises I've had under my chin. He said that most people only get a little yellow bruising but I bruised pretty badly (I WOULD be the one to bruise like this lol). He looked around, told me to bite and told me it looked fantastic. I was extremely worried going in because I've noticed that my teeth are only touching on my right side. My surgeon explained to me that it is TOTALLY normal and that when more of the swelling is gone, my orthodontist will be able to move my teeth around again and make everything perfect. He said I have absolutely nothing to be worried about, and it will all be corrected in time. So I feel a ton better about that. Then they took an X-ray of my face and for some reason I think its the single coolest thing I've ever seen. I even posted in on Instagram...I'm sure some of my friends were grossed out. It shows all the hardware that's now permanently in my face (my upper jaw, lower, and chin). ITS SO COOL.

Just call me the Terminator.

In other news, I got new pain meds AGAIN. I switched from taking 1000mg of Tylenol 4 times a day to 800mg of Motrin 2-3 times a day. Its a huge relief for me because IB Profin works better for me anyway. My pain is manageable and the swelling is still going down, but at an agonizingly slow rate. I'd say that I currently look like I have just gotten my wisdom teeth out. Also with the my nerves returning, its been a little easier talking. My lips move a little better but my smile is still the creepiest thing on the planet. Its so awful because my life is usually full with so much laughter, and now that I'm feeling back to my old self again, I'm laughing all the time. This wouldn't be so awful if it didn't hurt so dang much and I didn't look so creepy when I do so. It's the worst when my creepiness makes the other person laugh harder, so then I laugh harder, which makes me squeal in pain, and make the other person laugh even more. I guess this is a good problem to have though.

I don't know why, but I keep torturing myself by watching food shows. I think that maybe since I can't eat the food, that I can stimulate all the other senses involving food and be satisfied...this is not a working theory anymore. Sorry Bobby Flay, I'll see you and all your friends when I can chew again.

Tonight I'm going to see if I can brush the outside of my teeth with my baby toothbrush. The doc said it was okay, and if I can tolerate the slight pain, then I'm going for it!

I'll post pictures once the swelling goes down a little more. :)

4 days out

Since I'm officially over "the hump" now, I get to ice as I please. I've been experiencing more pain today than I have all week. I think its because my nerves are starting to regenerate and I can feel more of my incision sites and where they actually broke my face. The bruising is starting to go from a dark purple to a yellowish color and is sliding down my neck. I've upgraded, once again, to taking pills rather than the liquid Tylenol (thank God!). The pain only dulls though, from like a 7, to a 4 or 5. One the the blogs I first read about had said to prepare yourself for one of thee most undignified recoveries ever. Its day 4 and I think I can back this up by now. I've started doing this totally awesome thing where I drool non-stop and I can't feel it. Its really quite the party trick. Today I started wearing a baby burp rag like a bib... along with this I also handed over my dignity card. I feel like an infant, or a really really old person who can't control their bodily fluids. I have no pride left and have given up on caring if my family sees me in my decrepit stage. So that's fun.

On the positive side of things, my nausea has been gone and I've had quite the appetite! This is great because I can start to gain some of my strength back. It's really hard though because I'm still on a liquid diet and haven't even graduated to soups or shakes yet.. My calorie count is still extremely low and I can feel it in my body when I try to walk around the house. I weighed myself and I've already lost 6lbs (yikes). The downer about finally having an appetite is that I want to eat EVERYTHING. I now spend my days avoiding the kitchen and turning the TV off when food commercials come on.
Its only day 4 of 42 and I'm already planning the day where I eat anything and everything I want. :)

Cravings
Pizza
Meatball Sub
Bread in general
KFC chicken
Peanut butter Kiss Cookies
Hot dogs
Sushi

I also laughed really hard for the first time today. It hurt my poor face muscles so bad, they havent tried to move at all since surgery and to jolt them out like that. It was awesome to laugh again, but wow my face is sore already. Maybe this will help me get the feeling and movement back though, so I will continue to laugh and smile until I can't take it anymore. No pain, no gain right?

The First 72 Hours...

(warning. this post gets gross. just keeping it real)

Let me just start out by saying....oh....my gosh.

On all the other blogs I've read about this surgery, the people tend to disappear and not post for a while and I always wondered why. Now I know why..

Coma or jaw surgery?

I woke up from surgery and I was super drugged up. It was great, they gave me morphine whenever I wanted, anti-nausea meds, IV fluids, the whole shebang. I was never in a lot of pain (cuz of all the nerves they cut) but the swelling was RIDICULOUS. The nurse would wake me up to use the bathroom and it felt like my face weighed 50lbs. I also happened to be in an inpatient-room with two other kids who also had under gone jaw surgery that day. The poor boy at the end was sick most of the day but then slept most of the night. The girl next to me was very quiet but her family...was SO loud. I remember at one point I told my mom to make them leave. I might have made a couple of death threats under my breath, but hey, who doesn't get grumpy when they feel like they've been hit by a train? Another thing that was interesting was that they gave us all suction straws (like at the dentist) that we could use to suck all the excess blood out. I definitely should have used mine more because all the blood I swallowed made me feel ill.

Drugged swollen me...lol

Okay so the hospital, not that bad. It was once I got home where shiz hit the fan. I'm not about to sugar coat this people, so strap in. Basically I was in a vicious cycle of medication. I had to take a laxative because all the narcotics stop you up and make you nauseous. This is common post-op protocol and you'd think by my third surgery that I would have figured out the importance of this. I was nauseated for the entire three days. Honestly, I would have rather have been in pain than nauseous. Because I constantly felt sick, it took every effort in my body to try and consume anything. I needed some sort of food in my stomach before taking pain meds, but I didn't want to eat. So then I'd be in pain AND nauseous. Then after about 12 hours of taking the Tylenol with Codine we realized that my body was having a reaction to it. My heart felt like it had been racing all day and I couldn't sleep at all. We called in and they told me to just take kids Tylenol instead. That stuff was awful and I had to take a ton to get the correct adult dosage. Then my sinus decided to join the party. I got extremely congested and then mucus started flowing into my stomach...making me more nauseous. The ice bags that I had been strapping around my face were getting old. At night I would wake up and rip them off feeling claustrophobic and unable to breath. I eventually got sick the second and third night, which is awful when your mouth only opens 2mm and you can't spit. Christmas Eve was probably the worst. I was so tired, and I hadn't eaten anything and I basically had decided I was going to die. Like no joke, I was doing the math and I was convinced that I could no longer attempt to take care of my body. I told my mom that if I was still like this in the morning, she HAD to take me to the ER. I was praying so hard just for one thing to go my way, and then it happened. God gave me a Christmas Miracle.

Before and immediately after surgery. The swelling actually got wayyyy worse than this.

I woke up the next morning and I was able to go to the bathroom!!! This immediately relieved my nausea and I was able to eat! My dad found adult liquid Tylenol so I didn't have to take the awful kid stuff anymore. The swelling had gone down a little and since it had been 72 hours, I didn't have to ice 24/7 anymore. I took a shower and wow, I've never loved a shower more in my life. I was more alert, able to watch TV, and even text all my friends back (finally, sorry guys).

They told me once I got past 72 hours, "the hump" they called it, that the worst would be behind me. I'm so glad that was true because that was the longest 72 hours of my life. I may be overstepping here, but I think childbirth just might be a breeze now...

It's Tomorrow...

Well shoot. Here we are.

Just one more thing to get food stuck in...

Today I had my last Orthodontist appointment before surgery. This was where they took 2 hours to put on what are called "surgical hooks." These bad boys are for nothing more than to irritate the living daylights out of my lips. No, I kid. They're so that when the surgeon is done making my mouth all pretty, he doesn't have to sew it shut. I guess they used to have to wire people's mouths shut, but now they can just put rubber bands to hold everything in place. They're not even hooks though, just a little stick with a ball on the end (thank God). I have to keep them on for 3 weeks after surgery, then I get normal brace rubber bands.

God's gift to man.

Today is ALSO my last day of chewable freedom...And boy did I take advantage of it. Krispy Kreme for breakfast, Chick-Fil-A for lunch, and MEXICAN FOOD for dinner. Even though I know I'm going to lose weight from my liquid diet, I still felt kind of guilty eating all the bad food. Whatever, I'll thank myself for it after only 24 hours of smoothies and shake.

How am I feeling? You know when you promise your mom you'll clean the toilet? And then you realize that you are terrified of germs and that it was a bad thing for you to volunteer for? But you gotta do it now, because you already committed to it. And now you're just absolutely dreading it because you know how much its going to suck. But you have to do it NOW, there's no turning back, because there's guests coming to the house tonight and you can't let them sit on your dirty toilet! So you do it and it sucks, ohhhhh it sucks so bad. But when its over you feel accomplished and you even get a compliment on how clean the toilet is (that's weird). It's all fine and dandy now, but you will never volunteer for that again...apply that metaphor to jaw surgery and that's how I'm feeling. The surgery is happening tomorrow, there's no question about that. I'm not even nervous for the surgery itself, just the recovery. My doctor keeps telling me that it won't be as bad as I think, but it doesn't sound like a walk in the park to me. What is getting me past the dread to recover, is the fact that the end is in sight! In less than 5 months, I'll have my braces off and put this chapter of life behind me! I'll be able to bite things, and smile with pretty brace-free teeth. That, along with all the support I've been getting from everyone, is what's making me believe that I can get through this alright.

I'll try to post as much as I can during my actual recovery along with some pictures. Thoughts and prayers are appreciated because as Greys Anatomy has taught me, anything can happen during surgery...


Here's to hoping for the best! :)

One. Week. Away.

I keep telling people that I'm nervous but for some reason I have this sense of calm about the whole thing. Maybe its because everything has been explained to me so many times, that I have nothing left to question. Or maybe its because of the hundreds of other blogs I've read to help inform myself of what to expect. I'm sure it'll be the minute I'm sitting in my hospital gown, getting an IV stuck in my arm, that it'll all hit me at once and I'll really freak out.

I remember when I was a little kid, I told myself that I would never have any surgeries in my entire life. Surgeries were for reckless people who did dumb things to get themselves hurt. I fully believed I was invincible until my senior year of high school;  I had two surgeries in one year. First I had knee surgery to repair a torn patella tendon, then I had one for the removal of my wisdom teeth. Perhaps these previous experiences with surgeries are contributing to the lack of emotions I am feeling. All I know is that it will all be worth it when it's over...

OKAY, MOVING ON.

Let's get to what you people really came here for. THE PICTURES.

I don't have access to all the crazy photos that they make you take before the procedure, but as soon as I do, I will for sure post them (along with the after pictures). What I have here are the before and the PREDICTED after side shots. This is what my profile should look like when the swelling is gone. The lighting is terrible, but if you are able to zoom in, you can see where my chin really ends. My results may be more or less drastic than this but this is their prediction.

Pretty cool technology to be able to predict the outcome. So excited!

"What's the sitch?"

Okay. So here is my particular situation. I'll try to explain all the big doctor terms in small words, so you can leave your Merriam Webster on the shelf.

I have a "Stage 2" (whatever that means) Open Bite. I have a "weak chin" because either my jaw never grew up with the rest of my body, or its actually grew backwards. This all means that my teeth touch in the back but not in the front. When ever I explain this to people, I show them that I physically can't touch my front teeth together, and they usually get it.

So what does this mean procedure wise? It means that in order for me to bite correctly, I will be having Double Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery. During my many appointments, the surgeon showed me a model like this (right). The first step it to slide my lower jaw forward. But sliding my jaw forward wouldn't fix the bite. In addition to moving it forward, they will also angle it upward to match my upper jaw. Next, they'll be separating my entire upper jaw from my skull in order to widen it, and to correct the ever so slight tilt in my upper jaw. They'll reattach it, throw in some screws, and make sure my bite fits perfectly (yay). Then they'll move on to my chin. They literally cut my chin bone off and pull it forward as far as the surgeon sees fit. He claims he has an eye for it and honestly, I trust him. Then they put some more screws in and they're done. My surgeon said start to finish, he can do the whole thing in under 2 hours. I will have minimal swelling when I wake up and not be in much pain (or so they say). This is because during surgery, they have no choice but to sever lots of my important facial nerves (don't worry, they'll grow back). As cool as it is that I won't be able to feel the full extent of the trauma my face has endured, all the other blogs say the numbness returning is extremely annoying. I guess I'll have to wait and see for myself. 

"But what about all that metal in your face? Won't you set off airport security alarms?"

Actually no. All the plates and screws going into my face are made of titanium. I guess titanium doesn't set off metal detectors or whatever.

"How'd this happen?"

 GREAT QUESTION.


Well it all started in a Galaxy Far Far Awa- ahhhhh gotcha. No but really, this whole thing started a long time ago. I have no idea if this had any effect on start of my mouth issues, but I sucked my thumb until I was about 8 years old...Yep I was a thumb-sucker. My mom tried everything short of just cutting the damn thing off. I was in third grade when I got a thumb guard, (right)

I always got food stuck in it. Yum, save that for later.

that I finally quit for good. They slapped some braces on poor little third grade me and sent me on my way. I was literally the only 3rd grader in my school who had braces and I was mortified. About a year later they finally realized that braces alone weren't fixing the damage that 8 years of thumb-sucking had done. So off came the thumb guard and on came the palate expander (left). They cranked that thing for another year until they assumed my bite was wide enough, then off came the braces and the torture device. I got my braces off at about 11 years old (the time all my friends started getting them on) and I thought that I had finally gotten the last laugh. But oh was I wrong...

Worst. Pain. Ever.

Fast forward about 5 years and...Wow, would you look at that. My mouth was messed up once again. I had lost my retainer after about a month, and at the time, no one was talking about how important retainers were. Guess what...my teeth all moved. I was about to enter high school when I really started noticing the awkward gap between my upper and lower teeth. I could stick my tongue through it and drink through a straw. I remember one car ride I mentioned it to my mom and we soon returned to the orthodontist. I thought that they would be mad because my teeth had moved, but they were so perplexed by my mouth shift, that they sent me to our local Oral Maxillofacial Surgeon. We had a consultation, they told me I'd need surgery if I ever wanted to bite right, but the price tag drove us away. I was going to have to live with my open bite until/ IF we ever found the money to make it happen. I gave up hope for the correction of my face forever. I didn't think about it much except when I tried to bite foods or if I saw myself in pictures. I always noticed in pictures that I would have a double chin. I soon realized that I basically had no chin... or as the doctors call it, a "weak chin." I became very self conscious of this which was super fun, especially going through high school.

How I felt 24/7

Freshmen year of college, I got pulled aside and told that, SURPRISE, you get to have the surgery after all. I was literally in shock though. Like, I was happy because it meant good changes, but I also might have started crying because I was scared of what kind of surgery that would mean for me. It also meant that I would have to be THAT kid in college with braces. Of course by the time you get to college, everyone else has already gotten their braces off and have perfect, amazing, white smiles. Just my luck that I would have braces book-ending the normal time for people to have braces... awesome.

So here begins the adventure into my Jaw Surgery journey.