5 Weeks Out

The first picture of me taken by someone else (since my surgery)

Good News friends, it does get better! Once again I blinked and a week flew by. I am so thankful for the distraction of school because it helps me to feel normal again. Today I yawned super big, and for the first time it didn't hurt. I think the popsicle stick stretching is paying off. I can open my mouth up about the width of two fingers. While this seems painfully small, I feel like my mouth is at max...openness I guess? IT FEELS WIDE OKAY. And then I look in the mirror and realize its almost nothing. I thought school would drain me, but it really didn't, so I did what all recovering jaw surgery patients do, and got a job. I like to keep busy so why no be paid too, right?

I had an Orthodontist appointment this week. He and all the assistants said I look great, but I think they are obligated to say that since I'm paying them thousands of dollars to fix my teeth. This visit, they were scheduled to fix a bracket that came off during surgery. They couldn't fix it last time because I couldn't open my mouth wide enough and it hurt like hell. So they fixed it and changed my bottom wire. I'm now on track to perfecting my smile and being done with braces once and for all! There's a small chance I'll have to go through the whole 'Sure Smile' process again depending on how drastically they feel my teeth need to move. If so, Ill get them off in June. If not, probably April!

Havasupai Falls baby!

I also have been attempting to exercise more. When I can fit it in, I try to walk on the treadmill or on campus. I tried to really push my heart rate on the treadmill (just to see what would happen) and I quickly realized why they want me to wait a while to exert myself. I could literally feel the roof of my mouth and my jaw pounding. So for at least one more week, I'm not gonna try jogging or lifting weights. I recently went with one of my friends to our local lake and did a mild hike around there. Its was beautiful and it was really nice to hike again. In April, I have the opportunity to hike the Grand Canyon down to Havasupai Falls. I'm stoked but I'm realizing I need to get in amazing shape as soon as I'm allowed to. The hike is 2 miles down and 10 miles into the canyon. I've heard its super hard and I'm basically a pile of dough right now... so I need to get on that.

I've had a week of realizations too. When I was hiking, my friend took a picture of me and I realized it was the first picture of me that hadn't been taken BY me. It was so crazy to see myself from a different view and see how different I really do look. I think it will still take a while to get used to my new face. My friends are slowly getting used to it, but I have a feeling my mom is gonna freak when she sees me for the first time again. Heck, I still stop and stare at a mirror when I see myself. But the best part is honestly that my teeth all fit together. Something else kind of blew my mind this week. My speech is ALMOST normal again which means, people don't know anything happened to me in the first place. I met a gentleman today and I realized that, he will never know what I used to look like. No person that I meet from now until I die, will ever know the face that I had for the first 20 years of my life. They will only know who they see before them now. And I don't know why, but that was crazy to me! Not that I'm a new person now, but I'm slightly less self-conscious now. I think that when I get my braces off, I'll have waaaaaay more self-confidence. I really can't wait for that. :)

I only have one week left until I'm "technically allowed to chew." 6 weeks is almost here!! I've been trying to force myself to experiment with chewing my pasta, but its so foreign and weird. While I can chew through the noodles easily, I don't have control of my cheeks yet. I've discovered that we literally rely on every mouth muscle to eat our food. My lips still don't close comfortably. Today I was stretching my face, AND SOMETHING POPPED. It didn't hurt or anything but it was so. weird. It might have been nose cartilage or maybe it was the tightness under my nose releasing? I don't know, but if I suddenly have all my feeling and control back, I'll be attempting to pop my face more. I should also note that my bottom lip has been super sensitive and it hasn't gotten any better yet. Even putting on chap-stick is still uncomfortable. My gums are slowly coming back; I can feel all my bottom gums, but my front top ones still have no feeling. All the numbness is my face is gone! I'm super surprised because most people have at least one patch of numbness somewhere on their chin. The only thing still slightly numb is the upper left lip. Go figure. But lip, I love you, I need you, and I want you back. Please come back to me.

One Month Out

Wow how time flies! I woke up and was like, "HEY. You made it a month with your new mouth." So I gave myself a little pat on the back and went back to sleep. Just kidding I had class- that's right I started school again this week. Its been interesting seeing and hearing everyone's reactions. Some people say I look pretty much the same, others are blown away at how different I look. Its really quite entertaining running into people who didn't know about the surgery, and watch them scan my face trying to figure out what is different. I've been trying to avoid bringing the surgery up to anyone and everyone I meet just because I feel like I'm oversharing and because its difficult to explain to a stranger. Plus I didn't want people thinking that I was just seeking attention. So I only tell people if they ask, or if I start to talk weird and have to explain myself.

8 Popsicle sticks wide.

Its been glorious to be able to eat soft foods again. I've had a lot of soft pasta, mashed potatoes, and ice cream. Since I've been cleared to smoosh food against my palette again, I've transitioned into the phase of "if it fits, I'll eat it." I can only open my mouth about the width of a finger. So if I can get it thru that gap, I'll eat it. Things I've "tongued" to death include, soft cookies, PB&J sandwich, pancakes, and Tuna. Its uncomfortable but it beats a strictly liquid diet. I've gained about 3lbs back which is good because that means I'm on my way back to my healthy weight.

I've started trying to get my jaw mobility back. I read somewhere to use Popsicle sticks to lodge your mouth open. So far at my best, I can open 8 Popsicle sticks wide. I do this about once a day for 10-15 minutes intermittently. One minute in, 30 seconds rest. If It starts to feel normal, or no longer hurts, you can add another stick and repeat.

I go back to the Orthodontist office next Monday. I'm hoping I'll be able to open my mouth wide enough for them to fix my missing bracket and replace my bottom wire. One thing is for sure, I'm going to take a percautiously large dose of IB Profin before I sit in that chair again.

The Numbness is actually really going away. I can feel almost my whole chin again! My bottom lip is still tingly and sensitive, but my upper left lips is still kinda numb. The stiffness is starting to subside, probably because of the face exercises. I still can't close my mouth comfortably, it still feels forced and looks weird. I'm sure its only a matter of time before I get it all back! 

Also, no matter how much I brush, I think the damage is done. My poor teeth are a dingy yellow. They are healthy and clean though, just stained from having braces and from not being able to brush for two weeks straight. I can't wait to get them cleaned and whitened when this is all over! :)))

3 Weeks Out!!

Can I get a WOOT WOOT?

This Gelato really hits...the SPOT...

It's week three and almost everything is getting easier. I am more active, taking in more calories, and getting even more into my Netflix shows.. yeah, while I've been getting out more, its also exhausting. So for the time, Netflix is still my go-to for relaxing. Plus I'll be returning to school in a week, so I'm enjoying all the screen time I have left.

Today was my three week appointment with my Surgeon AND my first post op appointment with my Orthodontist. First stop was the orthodontist, and what I thought would be a short, sweet, "wow, looks good" appointment, quickly turned into an hour long cry fest. He poked around, and stretched my mouth more than I had hoped. He decided that I was ready enough to have my segmented pre-surgical wires taken out and replaced by the usual single braces wire. Sometime last week I figured out that I was missing a bracket on my right back molar. Turns out it came out during surgery, and they forgot to tell me. So I spent most of the week freaking out, thinking the thing had somehow entered one of my open mouth wounds and was lodged in my face forever. ANYWAY, my orthodontist wanted to replace this bracket but after lots of jaw stretching and tearing up on my part, he could not get his tools down there to fix it. I was relieved because I had already had my mouth open to max capacity for 30 minutes. So they just replaced my top wire and told me to come back in a week. Its not the orthodontist's fault that I'm such a baby, so I'm thankful that they're so flexible with the timeline of my post-surgical braces appointments. :)

I'm adoring my new profile. :)

Next up was the Surgeons office. It was a magical visit. As soon as I sat down in the chair, *POOF* my surgeon appeared. He had me open and bite a few times and wiggled my top jaw to
make sure it was stable. Then he said the words that I had been dying to hear for weeks, "MASHED POTATOES." But it didn't stop there-oh no. He continued on to say I could even start to chew very soft foods. He said I could have Mac & Cheese, oatmeal, soft pastas and Ice Cream. I was NOT expecting him to tell me I could chew anything at all until 6 weeks so I was totally caught off guard. I literally got teary eyed when he told me. Partially because I was already emotional from the traumatic appointment before, but also because my brain partially shut down from happiness overload. You try going three weeks on a strictly liquid and mush diet, and then come talk to me. They told me everything looked good, answered my questions, and said they'd see me in three more weeks.

In celebration of this milestone, my mom took me to get Gelato! I asked for a sample but it was too big to fit in my poor wounded mouth. The lady looked at me like I was psycho as I tried to open wider to shove the sample in. Nothing, not even weird looks, was gonna stop me from eating gelato... That night I got KFC mashed potatoes and mac & cheese. Let me tell you, wow. Mashed Potatoes never tasted so good. I tried to chew a cheesy noodle but quickly lost it in my cheek. This is gonna take some serious time and patience to re-learn how to chew again.

Numbness and Stiffness
The numbness is slowly going away as I get sensation back. Its not quite feeling yet but really prickly when I touch parts of my face. I've figured out that my speech is awkward still not because of the numbness, but because of the stiffness. The Doc told me that the stiffness will go away with time and I'll eventually be able to close my mouth without looking forced.

Pain & Swelling
I switched from my fluffy pillow to my flat pillow and the next morning I woke up feeling super swollen and in some pain. I think that maybe sleeping completely flat is not the best idea yet...switching back to my fluffy pillow as we speak. In general, the swelling is like 95% gone. Only I can tell there is any left. My pain is really only in the morning when I wake up and its just a dull soreness. Now that I've started chewing soft stuff, I have a little more aching but its tolerable.

At least its not creepy anymore..

I go back to school this week which should be interesting. My biggest worry is just my talking, but I doubt anyone will make fun of me. I just wish I didn't have to introduce myself in every class. I'll probably end up telling everyone I had Jaw Surgery just so they don't think I'm having a stroke. I feel like I have 98% of my energy back now, and I'm on my way to getting back to a healthy weight. I can't wait to start lifting weights and running again! In about 2 weeks I'll be allowed to jog/run and lift light weights. Still not too much bending over, but I'll make it work! Life is starting to slowly feel normal again and I'm excited to be with all my friends again. I'm hoping time will start to pass quickly so I can get to the part where I get my braces off. :)

Two Weeks Out!

My emerging profile

For those of you still keeping track, its been 14 days since my surgery.

In the grand scheme of things, I've had a somewhat pleasant experience so far with recovery (compared to other people). I've read about people who had complications and lingering problems, but I've encountered very few issues. This isn't to say I haven't had my fair share of minor "pain in the butt" problems, but I'm realizing how blessed I am to be recovering well.

So what's changed over the past week?

Eating 
I've self-graduated myself to eating my soup mush with a spoon! I take my front bands off to do so, and I don't know if my surgeon would approve...but I do it anyway. I also used a straw properly for the first time!! Milkshakes taste so much better through a straw than through my ketchup bottle. It might be too soon, but I've started mushing up pieces of cake with milk so that I can have my cake and eat it too (haaaa).
I've discovered over the past week that a lot of foods don't blend well. Most foods actually. I've learned that I like a lot of foods because of the flavor/texture combo. Once you take away the texture and blend, lets say a pizza, it just becomes salty mush... Thanks, but I think I'll just wait to enjoy pizza the correct way. :)

*side note* I'm only on week 2/6 of no chewing, and I didn't realize it would be this hard. Prepare yourself to be bitter anytime you see someone eating anything..

Talking
Other than eating, this has been the most frustrating part of recovery. My mouth is slow to move and still is very stiff. I am now 90% understandable, but I sound and look ridiculous when I talk. I do mouth exercises that I read about online (make a kissy face, then open as wide as you can) but I can't really tell a difference yet. My smile is less creepy than before, and it doesn't hurt to laugh anymore. I still feel like one of those ladies on TV whose had a ton of botox injections.

Sleeping
I got my first few nights of solid sleep this week! On Sunday night I was told I could lose the incline and sleep flat again! It's really a miracle how much better I feel the next day when I've had a full nights rest. Not to mention you heal in your sleep. I actually find that my face feels most tingly when I start to fall asleep. My body is just itching to get better!

Numbness

I've seen other bloggers make these to explain the numbness in their face. So as of January 5th, 2016, these are the locations of the numbness that I feel in my face. A lot of full feeling has come back to my cheeks, but my chin is still pretty numb. I labeled it as sensation because I can feel when my finger is on it, but it mostly feels like tingles. The red is where I am still completely numb. Its extremely annoying in my nose because there's lots of nose itches that refuse to be cured with a scratch. Not super fun, but also not a huge deal. The progress is slow, but each day I have a little more sensation/feeling in different parts of my face. The patch under my eye is confusing when I put makeup on, but I'm sure it'll come back with the rest of my face. 






Pain
The pain is totally manageable now. I only take some IB Profin before bed, and as I feel necessary during the day. The bruises on my chin are also starting to disperse and get smaller.

Swelling
The swelling is about 88% gone. I can feel my jawline and all the bumps and bones. Most of the swelling left is in my cheeks and chin. Most people say I look normal, but I look in the mirror and see the layer of chunkiness. I just want to be able to see my cheek bones more defined. Once I can see them again, I'll know the swelling is all gone. This is going to take a while as the swelling can take up to a year to completely disappear...ugh.

OTHER ACCOMPLISHMENTS

• I brushed my teeth with toothpaste for the first time.
• I've gone out in public about 5 times now (and survived)
• My teeth touch on both sides now
• I'm eating more which gives me more energy

A couple days ago I got really discouraged. I'd been laying in bed or on a couch for over a week. I felt sluggish, unproductive and worthless. I started going through other people's blogs again, seeking some sort of encouragement. The best advice I found was to give myself small goals to complete for the day. Walks, showers, small chores, art projects, and rewards are all things that I've started incorporating into my day. When I make a list and check things off as I go, I'm able to look back at the end of the day and see that I accomplished something. It's been really helpful in lifting my spirits and helping me to feel like a contributing member of society again.